Friday, December 18, 2009

I Found You..

I  Found  You ...

Sometimes I smile when I think about you,
But why sobs are more and smiles so few.
When I look back into the time just to thank Lord,
For the precious gift He gave me in your form.
I find those silent memories with you clouding my mind,
And only one word about you my Remembrance could find.

FAKE ... FAKE ... yeah FAKE
Yeah so were you,
Sobs more and Smiles so few.
You pretended , you lied .
and Truth in you somewhere flied.
I thought I'll call you my friend ... my inner being,
Would confide in you all that I've ever  been.

I still smile thinking about you ,
Fibber , Liar , Serpent ... all of it I found in you.
I doubted my reasons and I doubted your mistakes,
I thought in thousands before this decision I could take.

I don't want you to make me cry any more ,
I don't want you to sour those dead sores ,
I want you to go , just go ... go away ,
So that in future we never cross each other's way.

I want to throw that paper and pen,
I want to wash your name from them.
I still write thinking about those days,
Why I hurt myself everyday?
Why I look for reasons to reconcile my thoughts ?
Why do I keep telling myself that you aren't the same as I thought?

I still look back into the time,
Just to find that you were TRUE sometime.
My all efforts go in vain ,
When I find your hands stained.
Stained with so many immorals , so many lies ,
That all my faith in you , in just a moment flies.

I want you to tell me that it wasn't you ,
        I want you to tell me that your mistakes were just so few.
But I see a dead silence from your side,
It was always me and never you by my side.

You made me realize the level of your fidelity ,
    I never wished to but you made me face the REALITY ,
I want to close my eyes to this verity,
I still want to live in the very same reverie.
       I snivel when I see that all that I thought was just a tall tale,
           I pity at my own self when I see the end of my Fairy- Tale.

Here , I mark the end.
From here I won't ever call you my friend.
This is the END , yeah this is the END of our amity ,
      There I see you Going and here I stand still counting your qualities.

I don't know what you had ever achieved but My TRUST you had won ,
Whatever I may say , but : You were the one and shall always remain the only ONE .

I still write about you ,
I still write about those times when I found you ..


PULKIT said...

a painful confession this seems like
long yet keeps the thought binded!
well written, ....
by the way,,,
I recommend u a change in ur blog template "click on" and find some related template, :) ur blog is beautiful and it needs to be beautified a bit more externally so grab some attention of first time visitors :) and make sure...u reply to comments to build a relationship with them for sure :)

Amiya chatterjee said...

The words that you used to express your agony is undoubtedly excruciating, but I wonder if you could use the same words to compose a beaytiful poem.
Desertion , Disappointment betrayal....almost every human being suffered and I believe all sufferings are meaningful .

himika said...

@ Pulkit : Thanks for being a constant support and for all those encouraging comments.

@ Amiya : Very true. Almost everyone goes through such feelings atleast once in life

Anonymous said...

HIMIKA great composition. i personally got engrossed in the cadence of the poem.i was thinking that the 'I' was i............hahaha
Frankly speaking yaar if Mr.Perfect hear your poem he will definitely fell in love with you.

Himika said...

@ Anonymous : Kushagra, you could have placed your name here. Never the less your Mr. Perfect unveiled your anonymity ;)

Anonymous said...

Identity is not imp my comment was so i did that. Anyways u know my name i m anonymous.....hahaha

Himika said...

@ Kushagra : Yes, Sir Anonymous Sir !!

Anonymous said...

Very beautiful indeed!, Truly written from bottom of heart.
And also every1 faces it, sooner or later, once or many more....but that shouldn't defy you spirit..
Your spirit to Friendship
Your spirit to Trust People
Your spirit to Love and be Loved
I am sure you will keep your spirit and emerge as a Winner.

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