Monday, December 28, 2009

If only you could hear







A text in my note-book,  
5 articles in my drawer,  
A sketch in my diary,  
A picture in the hard disk,  
An IM on my cell,  
A conversation in my mind,  
Impressions on my heart,  
Memories in my eyes,  
Emotions in my Soul, 
is what makes...  
YOU Live In ME.
 
Your voice makes me tremble even now, as if it was the first time we spoke. I still sleep over every single conversation we had, as if it was the last one. I dream you everyday, as if it the last thing to dream. I pray for you everyday, as if I was never to live. I call you everyday, as if it was the farewell day. I altercate with you in most of our conversations, as if I've loved you enough. I say 'goodbye forever' at the end, as if you would call me up again. I hear you in every song I listen, I see you in every character I dream of. You've got inside me so much, as if we were soul-mate. I feel so lost in you, that I hear nothing around. If you could hear me, hear all that I say each day. If you could see me, see the sleepless nights I had thinking about you, if you could fell, feel the love I've for you, if you could smell, smell the fragrance of amity we have between us. If only you were I, you would have understood it. Somewhere I know, even you feel and think the same. You never said, but I can hear every time you say a 'hello'. I never said, but you always heard, each time I said 'bye'. Such a strange relation we share !! We say everything, still nothing. We mean everything, still nothing, we see everything, still nothing. I can bear this no longer, I die each day I live, I live each day I feel for you. I want you to know what I feel, I want you to say what you see. This silence is unbearable. I see our love in each fairy-tale, I see the same end of our lovely tale. Such things I've never felt and I know I won't ever. Everything that was ever in me, belonged to you. And it shall always be ! I still look into your eyes  just to let you know what all I felt. I still say things in a way to make you hear all that I never said. I look at you each day, I call you each day just with a hope that you'll hear THE UNSAID. And all my hopes say - ' If only you could hear'

  Things for which I did say "it never mattered & won't ever", inside I knew that something is LOST. 
Something that I owned, something that was mine. 
It might be a letter, a conversation, a smile, my emotions, feelings, maybe trust or love. 
I know I won't feel the same again, for it did matter. Something was LOST, something inside was... lost - my 'self', the inner 'I'.. 
and 
This Gain- Loss of 'I' that we face is actually -"being human".

7 comments:

Amiya chatterjee said...

I have things to say to the trees,perhaps to the stones,and the seas, the birds , the deserts.I would like to speak to them from faraway and in a low voice, as though in telephones without eyes or words,without seeking to defeat or to persuade, just simply peacefully.....That is what it means Himika ,to be human, to yourself at least.

kirti.. said...

brilliant...
i could completely read between the lines..reading your writes is always a treat..
kudos girl..

and yes.. if at all u lost that 'inner I' it was jst to metamorphose into SOMEONE better that u are today.. and u know that well..
NOW DO NOT LOOSE THIS HIMIKA I KNOW!!

PULKIT said...

?

himika said...

@ Amiya : Completely true, that's being a humane human.

@ Kirti : Yeah, you know it more than the lines itself.

@ Pulkit : ?

amit said...

nic composition..inne sare hai hai yr..inhe padhne m din lag jaega..neverthles i wd try 2 foolow ur blogs..bye

Himika said...

blogs?? There's only one blog duh uh, it has 4 posts.

Anonymous said...

Great! I can feel your Love in your words..
so true, so pure, so serene.

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